by Brian Alan Ellis
Jealous of TV shows that get cancelled because I’d like to be cancelled too
Just imagined myself starring in a TV show called Nothing Matters,
which would have a similar opening to the show Family Matters, except
instead of me waving to the camera while watering plants or getting the mail,
I’d be falling into bushes and garbage cans while walking home wasted
from another day-drinking binge.
“Visibly uncomfortable being around others” as a go-to cosplay outfit
at a social gathering,
it’s best to let
all your personalities
do a lap around the party
before having them
meet up with you later.
Find what you love and then wait around while what you love ignores your texts
Someone with a Tampa area code once texted me:
Hey it’s Tom, where you all at?
and I was tempted to text back:
Helluva question, Tom.
Think we’re at that kooky place where depression
and senseless afternoon naps meet.
Plz check back?
but I knew it was best to not open any doors of communication
with someone from Tampa named Tom,
so I didn’t.
Brian Alan Ellis runs House of Vlad Productions, and is the author of three novellas, three short-story collections, two books of humorous non-fiction (Sad Laughter is forthcoming from Civil Coping Mechanisms Press), and Something to Do with Self-Hate, a novel. His writing has appeared at Juked, Hobart, Monkeybicycle, Electric Literature, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Funhouse, Heavy Feather Review, Talking Book, and Queen Mob’s Tea House, among other places. He lives in Florida, and tweets sad and clever things at both @brianalanellis and @HouseofVlad.